Kids Will Be Kids – An Unacceptable, Tired Excuse

“Saying “kids will be kids” isn’t just dangerous, it’s dismissive”

I hear it all the time: “Kids will be kids.” I've said it myself. It’s a phrase meant to brush off reckless behaviour. At its core, it’s just excusing bad decisions. But when it comes to drugs and alcohol, this saying isn’t just an excuse – it’s permission to self-destruct.

If we, as adults, believe that young people experimenting with drugs is inevitable, we’re not just accepting a problem – we’re enabling it. We’re telling them we expect this kind of behaviour, that it’s normal, that it’s just part of growing up. But is it? And more importantly, do we really have to settle for that?

What Are We Really Saying?

When we respond to youth substance use with “kids will be kids,” we’re sending the message that drug use is a phase, rather than a serious issue that needs addressing. We’re reinforcing the idea that teenagers lack control over their choices and that they are somehow destined to make harmful decisions. But the truth is, young people are deeply influenced by the standards we, as adults set for them. If we act like drug use is just a natural part of adolescence, many will follow that expectation with experimentation. But again, we believe they’re capable of better, they will rise to meet that belief.

The Reality Behind Drug Use

Young people don’t use drugs simply because they’re young. They use them because they are struggling – struggling with self-worth, peer pressure, poor mental health, or trauma. Many turn to substances to cope with stress, loneliness, grief, or an underlying sense of not being enough. The fact that so many young people believe their future isn’t worth fighting for is deeply concerning.

Ignoring this reality with a dismissive phrase only disregards and deepens the problem. When we normalize drug use as "just a phase," we fail to ask the crucial question: Why do so many young people feel the need to use drugs in the first place? And more importantly, what can we do about it?

We Need to Change the Narrative

Instead of saying “kids will be kids,” we need to be asking: How can we equip young people to make better choices? How can we foster resilience, confidence, and self-worth so that they don’t feel the need to seek escape by using drugs or alcohol?

This means:

• Being real with young people and treating them with respect, rather than undermining and shutting them out of conversations that impact them.

• Enabling open, honest conversations about substance use – without judgment or fear tactics.

• Teaching young people how to navigate peer pressure and make decisions that serve them in the long run.

• Addressing the root causes of why young people turn to substances, rather than simply reacting to the behaviour.

• Standing by young people when they make mistakes and not giving up on them by saying “kids will be kids”.

  
  

Adults Need to Step Up

By saying “kids will be kids,” we are stepping back when we should be stepping up and taking responsibility. We have the power to influence young people in a way that can absolutely change the course of their lives. But that starts with believing they are capable of making wise, informed choices – when given the right support and guidance.

We don’t have to accept youth drug use as a given. We shouldn’t shrug our shoulders and hope they grow out of it, especially when we know addictions take root in the teenage years. We have to step up, to educate, to empower, and to help young people see their own worth before they seek validation in dangerous places.

I think we need to retire “kids will be kids” once and for all. Our young people deserve better – and it’s up to us to show them we believe that!

Thoughts?

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james@jamescrystal.co.uk